Memoirs of a Socialist

Okay diary, so for me to orgasm is pretty difficult. I did last night with her. Felt really good, however, i always get awkward come the end, I never know what to do.

Anyway, it felt good. We both seem to have mutual feelings, although earlier today we did have some minor arguments. 

Also, looks like the NHS reforms are thankfully on the ropes, I hope they never ever see the light of day again. Tories blame labour for instigating this. They only ever used private firms to reduce the waiting list and times from the previous tory government. Typical.

Things are moving at a steady pace, I’ve seen her now everyday. Things are so far feeling good. Went into central, bought her some food. Spent far too much money than actually was needed.

She’s also starting to come round to my socialist views. Not sure whether she will ever convert. 

We even text a lot, which is something i’ am not fond of. I think she may like a lot of constant attention, i hope thats not the case. If it is, then things may be difficult for me. I still want things to work out, i’m starting to get attached.

She came round again today, just hanging out. Its nice to have someone so close by that can just come round. Things still niggling at me, do I really like her, maybe getting too attached. 

In more important news, Osama Bin Laden is dead. Now i’m no conspiracy theorist, but something seems very dodgy. Not surprising really when you think where he was found. Maybe ISI in the lower levels still support OBL ideas and dogma, who knows. 

Feel uncomfortable that he was shot, a trial and a prison sentence would be more of a punishment to him then death would be. I’ll see what the news brings us in the next few days. 

Well, i’m writing this entry a day late, as I was rather drunk last night and unable to write or speak cohesively.

But anyway diary, been hanging a lot with this new women, cooked for her last night. She seemed very happy. I think she is getting attached to me, not surprising - we’ve had sex a fair few times. I’m worried that things are moving way too fast. Will have to discuss this with her later today, see what she says.

Either way its solving my lonely problem at the moment. It’s not however solving my money problem.

Now that I have more time on my hands, its given me a chance to start reading again. I’m re-reading Catch 22, its been a long time. However, I really want some more Orwell in the next few months.

So today, I went to see this women that I’m getting particularly friendly with, she seems really a lot like me. I like her a lot, but there’s something niggling at me about her.

Not sure what, maybe the fact that she has to be right all the time is putting me off, or the fact that she’s close to her ex. See how things go with this one, but I could do with company at this point in my life!

Anyway, this is irrelevant really to other things that are going on in life!

So today is the day that i have been dreading for many many months. The blasted royal wedding. I cannot stand the royals at any time during the year and all day i’ve metaphorically been sick. 

They just infuriate me, and how they get everything on a plate. I had a discussion with someone on the tube today and how they mentioned that the royals bring in so much money.

No they do not, no one comes to see the queen, they do however come to see the relics of a monarchy, and as we can see in France they seemed to of done okay!

I was planning on going to the “not the royal wedding” but I’m not a fan of middle class republicans, they bore me. Instead i stayed in and watched the west wing.

winner at life.

So today I woke in an exuberant mood, it feels good to wake up and be happy. My housemates NUTS magazine came today, whenever I see them, i have this urge to set fire to them and him at the same time.

Probably should avoid him for a while. Meanwhile, I’m really worried that I’m not going to be able to pay for the rent, I must find a job, maybe go for the one i found the other day. 

Noticing that no one ever mentions Syria anymore, it saddens me that over 600 people have died in their attempt to have some freedom, it therefore infuriates me that I see people on facebook complaining about shit. 

I considered joining Workers Liberty, compared to my previous life as an SWP member. I definitely know i’m socialist and a Marxist, but i’m not sure which group i feel most suited to. I like having open and democratic debates, this was not possible in the SWP!

In other news, I’m still debating on whether I should go to the slut walk. Not sure if I agree with the name of it, and I don’t want to piss any angry feminists off by simply being there. 

I saw this job advertised today in my local shop, may go for it, as I kind of like the shop assistant, okay this behaviour is starting to worry me!

I’m starting to become really poor too, I don’t have a clue what to do - having no money could seriously destroy my life right now. Ah diary, i wish i didn’t have this worry about.

On a side note, I cried when watching one the episodes on the last season of the West Wing. It was the one where Leo died of a heart attack. I cried like a baby, but I cried as well because, generally things aren’t too good at the moment.